Friday, January 30, 2009

Another Song - Comment And Feedback

OK I just couldn't help it, Looking at Katie's Song I knew i had to step my game up really far just to get to where her level is. This is a song that started to fill me up, while i was reading Kat's song. This is another one I'm gonna write.

Entitled - Don't Tell Me The Truth

Your body holds all your secrets
Your eyes are telling all of your lies
I'm seeing right through your deception
But I still can't bring myself to say goodbye

So Don't Tell Me The Truth
Let's stand here alone tonight
It's me and you in the starlight
So let's keep our secrets tonight

You look out towards him
And I look towards her
Crying on the insides with our lies
You want him and I want her
But We don't want to give up on each other
And I Still can't bring myself to say goodbye

So Don't Tell Me The Truth
Let's stand here alone tonight
It's me and you in the starlight
So let's keep our secrets tonight

We can feel the build-up
The tension is high
My heart is breaking down in two
I can see in your face
The pain that I made
Breaking you in half with heartache
And I still can't bring myself to say goodbye

So Don't Tell Me The Truth
Let's stand here alone tonight
It's me and you in the starlight
So let's keep our secrets tonight

Let's keep our secrets tonight
So please Don't Tell Me The Truth

Probably still doesn't compete with what Kat has, but for such a short notice this has some potential. Please Comment And Give Feedback for me and Katie.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Contest Level Two - Song Writing

Ok this is the second level of competition that me and Katie are going towards since the previous level ended in a 1:1 ratio of liking. This competition level is consistant of Song Writing capabilities. Please comment on both blogs and give feedback as to who is better.

Song - "Listen To Me"

Look towards me and what do you see
A boy or the man that I'm trying to be
Your lost in your thoughts so you can't see
Or hear what I'm trying to say

I'm waiting for you to hear
"Listen to Me that's all I'm asking"
"Listen to Me before I let go....."
Your leaving me helpless
Caught without a voice
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking

You listen to her, and you'll listen to him
I'm telling you things, but your not ever listening
Your walking blindly off of a plank
Cause you won't ever hear what I'm trying to say

And I'm waiting for you to hear
"Listen to Me that's all I'm asking"
"Listen to Me before I let go....."
Your leaving me helpless
Caught without a voice
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking

This one last time
I'm trying to believe
That you really do care
But it feels like you leaving me

I'm waiting for you to hear
"Listen to Me that's all I'm asking"
"Listen to Me before I let go....."
Your leaving me helpless
Caught without a voice
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking

I'm making you see what you can't see
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Contest Level One - Poetry

Me and Katie having a contest on who is a better writer because I believe that I am an adequate writer. But Katie thinks I am, personally I believe Katie is a better writer but this is what this contest is for. If you do not know Kat's blog adress, it is katie-mo32.blogspot.com please look at her poem and then compare to mines. Give feedback and tell who's was better.

Entitled - Are We Alone?

Are We Alone?
Everywhere we turn there's a brick wall
We look around at all the destruction
It's a lonely world with just two people

But there is nothing better than spending it with you
Even if the world collapsed, a world without you
Is not a world at all, just a black hole.

Are we Alone?
No we are not alone, there's friends everywhere
There is no more destruction, only hope
A white light beneath the dark abyss of night

So this is not a black hole anymore
It is just the dream, I've always wanted it to be
There's no more to say, and no more to think about
Because the question is not "Are we Alone?"
The question is "Are we ever going to be alone again?"
And the answer is no.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

An Occasional Poem I Had To Write For Class

This is an occasional poem i had to write for class, it was about inauguration day. So if you could give me feedback and critique that would be greatly appreciated. Also if you could act like a teacher and give me a grade based on what i wrote, please do. That would also be appreciated.

Entitled – A New Day and a New Hope

An auspicious day this was, January 20th 2009
As the Bush administration ended, another stood in line
This time of darkness has ended, eight years of crime to be undone
A new light stands brighter now, together we will have won.

For past, present, and future stood on Capitol Hill
To see the torch of passing, the light of America’s will
We hope that yesterday’s sorrow, will not be tomorrow’s pain
This day has brought the new, cleansing of the rain.

The future is not one of easy passing, or even painless fights
But this day has paved a new road to the revival of America’s rights.
On January 20, 2009 there was neither black nor white, neither minority nor majority.
This day has brought America’s hope, and that is worth more than anything ever seen

Friday, January 16, 2009

Wrote This Just Yesterday - Comment And Feedback Would Be Greatly Apperciated

I Wrote This Just Yesterday, Within A 20-30 Minute Period. You Can Ask The Girl Who Could Fly. She Will Tell You About It. Anyways Comment And Give Feedback Please. It Will Be Well Appreciated.

Prologue
The icy wind howled throughout the desolate wasteland, crying out for the lost souls that littered the battlefield. I sat in the middle of the field with bodies scattered about the ground around my feet and the crimson liquid painting a picture of intense violence and horrible visions. “Why can’t I remember what happened, when I try to remember all I see is red…………………” is what I whisper to myself as the pitter-pat of sweat, anguish, and fear bleed off my face and into a deep wrinkle creased within my dirt-ridden pants. My mind races with flashes of light, the burning heat sears into my flesh and I can feel the burning rage creeping over me as I watch the faces of people drop to the ground in rapid succession. I can hear a voice calling out, Is it mine? That I do not know, but these people are so familiar………………so…………………close to me. My mind tears through all of my thoughts trying to rip the hidden memories of what happened to these bodies and who I am, it tries to bring me closure but all I can see is the blankness of what is not there. Who am I, What caused this terrible bloodshed, am I a monster, and who are those people that seem so close but yet so far?


Beginning
I lay face down with the musty pillow absorbing the tears from my pores. My caramel skin locked in between the damp smell of the pillow and my small bush of hair that tied itself together like the bristles of an ox’s fur. I can hear the knock at the door with the faint feminine smell of perfume and make-up permeating the rank air of the hotel room bed. “Hello Sarah, please enter the room. It’s unlocked.” I bellow with a monotonous tone that masks my feelings. “That is unlike you, James; you’re usually so much more meticulous when it comes to protecting yourself. What are you thinking about that has made you so vulnerable in this state?” Sarah retorts with the utmost charisma and feeling. My eyes slide from under the pillows white sheet, out to where Sarah is standing. Her thin figure was nothing much to behold, well except for her perfect eyes which glimmered like the sun beneath a hazel mirror. Her cheeks that radiated with such a crimson hue that when she blushed it created a sudden surge of heat in the room and her smile which where as white as the snowy earth that littered the northern hemisphere at this point of the year.
I jumped back up letting the creases of my clothes spring back to life in a miraculous jump-start and I felt my lean figure creak and crack with slow movements of my sleeping muscles. “I was thinking back to my past, where you found me and what my true name is………” I managed to croak out of my hoarse voice box. Yes, my name isn’t James and I’ve realized that for some time now even though Sarah continuously calls me James or Josh. Suddenly there’s another smell that enters the room in one fluid moment, and it’s so pungent that I can taste it in every fiber of my mouth. “That smells…......” I inhale the scent as my whisper turns to a yell “sulfur…………………….DUCK!!!!!!!” I yell as time seems to slow in my eye. The wood splinter breaks apart slowly as the heat of the metal and charcoal eat through the remaining fibers of wood. Sarah falls slowly from where she was standing as the half football rips the flesh off the top of her arm and the heat eats away at her flesh creating a black flame trail as it passed by heading straight for between my eyes.
Time reverts to normal and the speed at which I move is amazing, but the bullet tears through my shoulder blade, driving like a knife into the bone marrow and engraving its sharp point into my skin. I drop onto the sheets with crimson glue bonding my shirt together with my indistinguishable skin.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Some Art I Did In Class

I Painted A Picture, With A Program lol It's Called Corel Painter. Not the picture, i mean the program. The picture was at an anime con that me and my friends went to this year. I'm the one in the jacket, scourge is the one in the yellow and blacked striped shirt. The other guy is a bud of mine and Scourge named Brocklee. Tell me how it is, i'll put up the original picture to, so you can see what i did. Be aware that this is the first time i've ever done this type one of these projects or ever used this program.

After


Before

Sunday, January 11, 2009

My Friend Needs Help - Seriously

Friend of mine likes this girl, but doesn't know if she likes him back. And he want's to call her on her phone to check out if she feels the same, and to ask her out. But he can't bring himself to do it. He told me that his heart is saying "You can Do it" but his body and mind are saying "No You Can't." He's done this before, i mean asking a girl out and everything. But he says it's so much harder with this girl, like there's a wall inside him.

What should he do, Should he call the girl and ask her out, and find out how she feels? Or just live without knowing, but saving himself the heartbreak if she doesn't like him?

New Song I Wrote

This is a new song I wrote called "Shadow Of What I Once Was"
Please Leave Comments, and Feedback.

Just one last chance
I know I can make it up
Just give me that last breath
I'll know you'll live it up

But I'm dying,
slowly without you here
and I'm crying, just one last breath
to know your near

I'm a shadow of what I once was
Everything brings back the memories
That I loved
Could you give me, one last chance to make it up
Cause I don't wanna be a shadow of what I was

Looking out in silence, the empty seat right next to me
Everything reminds me, of what i wanted it to be
But i can't see, if you feel the same about me
but just come back, i promise to make you feel differently

But I'm dying,
slowly without you here
and I'm crying, just one last breath
to know your near

I'm a shadow of what I once was
Everything brings back the memories
That I loved
Could you give me, one last chance to make it up
Cause I don't wanna be a shadow of what I was

Could you give me, one last chance
to hear your breathing, i want to know
that your near. Please forgive me, i never
meant to hurt you, but don't leave me.
your tearing my heart in two

I'm a shadow of what I once was
Everything brings back the memories
That I loved
Could you give me, one last chance to make it up
Cause I don't wanna be a shadow of what I was

A shadow of what i once was...................

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My Story That I'm Working On

The First Paragraph of a story i've entitled for now "Dycera's Tribulation" pronounced (Die-Cera). Also read karly's intro and tell me which you like better. Me and Karly are having a contest. I say her's is better and she's says mine is. so tell me what you think.

Chapter 1 – The Plan

Dycera sat idly on his steel cot, the creaking sound as he shifted trying to find a comfortable spot was the only sound that echoed in the sterile air of the dark box they kept him in. His eyes fluttered beneath his closed eyelids as he tried to re-create the room as a way of focusing his thoughts. In his mind the 8x9 ft. room appeared, it’s black scarred concrete appearing first allowing the foul bloody stench to punch into Dycera’s nostril cavities and allow an influx of the garbage that the prison served for food to burst back up into his mind form’s throat. Feeling the burning sensation in his throat, Dycera chuckled thinking about how crappy the warden kept what he called his pride and joy. All that bastard cares about is booze and raping those hot girls in yard 16, Dycera thought out loud as the mental hole he was still in rumbled and shook uncontrollably. Dycera immediately rooted himself firmly in a tense position and let the rest of the encasement close around him, the four side walls appeared first bathed in a solution of twilight and shadow that seeped in from a small barred window that sat in the top left corner of the room and spread out from the iron door that seemed to block all forms of happiness including light. Dycera let his mind form take a swift turn off the bed and take both of his crusted, dry, and rough hands up behind the nape of his neck where there seemed to be a giant forest-like tuff of matted hair and interlock. Dycera let his mind sink back against the cool and damp wall as he let the small prickles of the sheet rock pierce tiny holes in his jumpsuit and massage his tense back into submission. Feeling the calming movements of the millions of tiny fingers, he let his mind seep into the memory bank, where he remembered a hymn of ancient times that was used to calm him as a child. “Darkness runs like a spider’s web, running through piece by piece, a moving joint in the everlasting darkness waiting to catch its prey. Its waits and waits, years, decades, millenniums only seconds, hours, days to the darkness and finally it springs, catching it slowly making it writhe and shake only to be eaten by the master of it. But throughout the Darkness there is light that pierces the night veil, one angel that counteracts the demons that lurk in the darkness, one angel…” ‘Angel’ a word that gave Dycera no joy anymore, as a child he felt proud to be an angel almost strangely he felt that he was better than anyone who didn’t have wings. His hands split from their interlocking stance and slid down to two large crease spots in his maroon jumpsuit, as he rubbed spot he could hear the voice of his father yelling at how long it had taken him to get a diviner and he still hadn’t gotten it yet. “You worthless piece of crap, you can’t get anything done, you’ve been gone for two years and still you don’t even a hint that you tried to get the diviner” his father the king of angels would say and Dycera would’ve retorted with his usual smart-ass remarks saying “whatever, screw this anyway, bye’ father’. “