Providence of Insanity

5/11 - Obscured Indulgence - Comment Please.

2010-05-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

Well, It's been quite some time hasn't it? Well then. I might continue blogging, I might not, but I've been coalesced into the fundamental interaction of netiquette and so I must give at least one more blog post. Hmmmmmmmmm.

1. What to talk about?
2. What to say?
3. Are the means of communication so far dissipated that they elude the nature of my synapses?

These questions are the indoctrinations of indulgence that pervade my mind. So here's a small story that I shall leave you with so that you may ponder the anxiety that enshrouds all of us.

Ignoble Cinders of Reticence
A Desideratum of Putrefaction assimilating in the Landfills of Contemplation.
Burning desires leaving the ignoble ashes wafting in abhorrent sights.
Manifesto's reaching into the depths of introspection
A culmination of our deepest qualms revitalized in prolific junctures.

Voices, burrowed within the dismal eyes of a emaciated nomad.
Strings resonating without the ethereal cadence of tenacity.
Composure riddled with the vestiges of capricious ambiance or perturbed tendrils.
Conduits leaving voltage singing the heart with electrocution, leaving judicial persecution.

Yet, so vast and untapped. The wells of the mind, siphoned from the cap.
Fundamental Functions operating at one time.
Strong forces dictate the order of mankind.
Contemplation needless with the apparatus of self-mutilation taking it's toll.
Mockery, a complacent parasite takes it's hold on the host.
Theorems of how lives are led, management of quirky undulating heads.
Acquiesced into the mental subjugation.
Individuals maintaining obdurate supplication.
Yet, the voices are subdued with the asphyxiating tapestry wrapped around their mouths.

So listen to the final materialization of tacit contemplation in it's reverie.
Darkness enshrouding, yet displaced with the light of sagacity.

- Alter

I've returned for at least an ephemeral journey into blogging once more.

Thought I had.

2009-09-24T16:31:00.001-07:00

It's in the form of poetry, I'll write it in a story form and a theorization form later.

Blinded

Fighting something on the inside
Black walls eclipse the light from your smile
I'll fail to lie to you anymore
Watching my melting mind fail to understand you any longer.

I've tried to see what was wrong
But nobody could explain to me what I had noticed
Even the collapse of London's bridge couldn't compare
To the despair in my eyes and lungs.

A metaphor for the knife you used to gouge my eyes out
I'm blinded to the truth, but now I can feel everything so clearly
The pulse of the force behind your tracks that repeated over and over
I was only caught in a flurry of a nice tempo, but a horrible lyric

I hate that I have a heart full of pain
Listening to my heart and not my eyes
I should've seen what was coming
But my head's full of stress and I was blinded by your sharp edge

Who am I without eyes,
Without a mind and without a heart?
I'm just blinded
Eyes gouged out with the knife in my back.

9/24 - Poetry

2009-09-24T16:04:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmmmmm, Since I did a rationalization piece last note. I decided to divulge into the arts a get a connotative piece going on here.

Neither here, Nor There.

Standing on the epitome of laziness and ignorance
What is the base I should fall upon ?
My eyes swelter with the pain of understanding
Though my heart pangs with burn of unchangeable factors.

Knees grow weak falling down into a dark abyss
Variations of one statement exist in so many places
To discern the truth from the lies is difficult
When the lies have already become the truth then what is to be believed?

An information terminal balanced on a high-beam
To fall is suicide, but to also fill the fox hole.
With a rather integrated system of emotions and rationality
What is the base I should fall upon?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I guess that was better than nothing. That's all I've got right now. I shall come up with something sooner or later.

~Alter / Kamryn~

My theory on how to save humanity - This is Scourge's Theory and the discussion that ensued.

2009-09-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

Feel free to debate if you want. In case you havent realized, the human race is in danger. In this note I will present my theory, be it extreme, on how we may save our selves and our planet. The first and foremost threat to humanity is ourselves. We are soley to blame for our war and poverty. The first thing that must be done is the elimination of all weapons throughout the world. This effectively means no militaries in the world. At all. And with the elimination of weapons we bring ourselves closer to world peace. The next step is to establish a system where there is free trade and goods, therefore money will be obsolete and not be used. Think about it, a world where everything you need is provided, the ecquipment is provide to the workers by the took makers, the house is built, and a family moves in. If there is an abundance of all for everyone, crime is reduced to visually nothing, because everyone has what they want and need. Again, this is just stating what would have to happen, i doubt that it would. Lastly, how to save our planet. Sadly, solar panels and turning off the lights when not in use only prolongs our planets demise due to an escalating climate. No. The only way to save the earth is to leave it. If humans were to take everything we need and leave for about ten thousand years, earth would repair itself,and we may return with more knowledge and a second chance at life. This is my theory which has been presented to you. However due to society and flaws in the human way of thinking, we must correct our selves before we can correct our future.

Comments:

Me: Hmmmmmmmmm, interesting concept but the Alter inside of me has a different approach and different method of saving. For one, the elimination of all weapons is a good idea because of the fact that it would cause a domino effect of positivity. In contrast though, eventually man will supersede it's ability to cope with peace. The human mind is a clay medium to be shaped and molded with the perceptual notions that we develop to generate our sense of intelligence which is not necessarily true, we just bring forth the detriments in our lives so that we may understand them better. This leads to the development of weapons because our cognitions will eventually lead to dissidence of these perceptual connotations on the actual word of "peace." Secondly, what you are describing begins to become reminiscent of a bartering system. Which I do agree has it's benefits, but in fact with bartering there has to be a specific value for items. This is only due to the inferiority complex within humans to distance themselves from a periodic system of lowering themselves. This is seen, even in non-established communities, where the leader of the established seeks to be recognized as a leader. It's bound to happen because Human's as a relative seek guidance because we have been ordained over time as a cognitive habit in birth. It's sort of like a genetic trait. Stating that crime would dramatically increase is another fallacy that if obtained would drastically change the order of society. In a perfect world, humans can establish a monetary amount of sensible behavior as to not initiate crimes. (Genocide, Larsony, Fabrication, etc.) but since our world is developed kind of like a shadow of a perfect world ( Philospophy - Plato) humans must exist with a detriment inside of their mind. As far as the crime goes, I feel that it should an established thing for crime to exist simply for the advancement and evolution of man into a more generalized genetic specie. Crime exists simply because Humans crave it's existence. It is used a palette for humans to paint upon and develop so that they can visualize a more aesthetically pleasing version of themselves. Finally on the last issue, I agree entirely. Humans must distance themselves from the world they are destroying to visualize what is actually happening. It's like two people arguing, these two individuals argue because they cannot see past their own individualistic concepts, but have them look in from a spectator's point of view and you begin to understand what the other person is saying from an objective point of view rather than a subjective notion inside one's own mind. Remove humans from the problems and humans crave to solve it, because humans are grounded to this planet their visualization technique is limited to a first person scale instead of an third-person omniscient like it should be. All in all, a very productive note and I agree.

Scourge: What my theory proposes is not bartering but everything free for people to have. The earth doesnt charge money for its resources therefore it is only logical to continue the system of mutual sharing rather than taking. Also crime would decrease due to people being correctly guided and provided for

Gamal (Friend of Scourge): well as i do agree with both of you..... the only way to save humanity is to do immediately what they have been "trying" to do forever... frankly i dont think people in power care at all anymore and i hope they all get skin cancer and die. Humanity hangs on a thin line that has constantly been treaded back and over again and nobody corrects the problem. The humankind is a key essential to its own destruction indeed, the mentality is that of dominance, therefore peace can never be absolute, even under perfect conditions because in every generation there will be a power hungry rebel desperate to demonize the current serenity and forcibly try to corrupt it, therefore requiring the use of some type of weapon so the only true way to save humanity: Change the mentality of the population because once your mind is set to be good, you WILL be good. another way would simply be just to find the dominance genome in our DNA and take it out, therefore elimination war, crime, and anything else that is anything else.

jolly good then, so nice we can concur on the same subject. Old people need to die and we need to take charge because in this current worlds decrepid state how can we continue to elect officials to power that are indirectly killing us? I guess thats just how things work these days but that will change in 4 years i guarantee it.

Me: nstead of talking about shafts like we normally do? Lol. I do enjoy the intellectual stimulation I am receiving though. I of course see your points Gamal and Alex and I agree with Gamal that maybe if we take out the dominance genome in our cellular structure that we can supersede this point in which War, Crime, etc. exists. Though, 10% of the DNA is not entirely decrypted yet, so we do not if it is entirely up to the Dominance Genome that this occurs. Just like we do not know if the Y chromosomes in male's are truly detrimental to our health and cause increased periods of aggravation and anger. We simply do not know the extent to which these problems lie.

This is the end.

9/23 - Note on Human Perception and Ability to discern truth from falsehoods.

2009-09-24T15:37:00.000-07:00

Today while sitting in class, I came across a particularly interesting article in the Psychology subscription on Google Reader. It was a very intriguing article on if humans brain's are switched into believing everything they hear / read if not allowed to have evidence contrasting otherwise or are humans capable of discerning the absolute truth immediately while reading it, trying to create alternative answers and a rational explanation to everything.

Here's what the article stated.

It pertained to two different theories by Rene Descartes and Baruch Spinoza.

Rene Descartes theorized that believing and comprehension remain two separate processes. He states in his theory that people take in some information, then discern what is the truth and what are the fallacies. Which is the cognitive dictation that most humans see in their average thinking. Or at least think that they see in their average thinking.

Baruch Spinoza's theory contrasted heavily upon Rene's. Spinoza theorized that humans take in information and believe it while they are reading it. Spinoza's theory takes into account that humans cognitive process cannot discern information unless having evidence which rationalizes this thought. This process that Spinoza theorizes though, heavily contrasts the believe that many humans have simply because they are ignorant to the fact that they believe most of what they read without having the proper evidence to do so. I will admit I am caught in this spinning web of ignorance also, when it comes to fabricated information that cannot be disproved so easily. This goes to show that as a Human Information System, we cannot relatively discern all the information bypassed into our system, we take in all of this BS from a diverse system f information. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me produce the results from a social experiment implemented to test the theories.

Be aware that the results of the experiment had several introduced variables stemming from the same original problem. The sentence of a man who robbed a store. The variables introduced included statements that made the severity of the crime more or diminished the severity of it. These statements were differed in colors. Green - Statements that are true. Red- Statements are false.
There was a twist that half of the individuals reading the statements were distracted and the other half weren't. These were concurrent to the statements because if Spinoza was correct then the people who were distracted wouldn't be able to process any additional information and there would believe everything they read. If Descartes was right on the other hand, then there was no relativity to being distracted and understanding the variables in the statements.

Results:

The results from the experiment concluded that Spinoza was right and that humans tend to want to believe what they read in not given time to discern the truth from the falsehoods. Humans cannot derive alternative explanations immediately during reading but instead the human process is to believe and understand at the same time. Truthfully though, humans usually have access to most true information and if we went around having to rationalize everything we read. We would lose valuable information trying to discern all the floating variables that pass through our intelligence and cognitive domains.

* Correspondence bias: this is people's assumption that others' behavior reflects their personality, when really it reflects the situation.
* Truthfulness bias: people tend to assume that others are telling the truth, even when they are lying.
* The persuasion effect: when people are distracted it increases the persuasiveness of a message.
* Denial-innuendo effect: people tend to positively believe in things that are being categorically denied.
* Hypothesis testing bias: when testing a theory, instead of trying to prove it wrong people tend to look for information that confirms it.

Conclusion:

In conclusion to this interesting passage, I have come to the conclusion that humans are relative to large information terminals. We introduce large variables of data into our minds and do not have time to discern it, which is a relatively good and bad thing at the same time. Like a double-sided sword. We want to believe everything we hear at the same time as we read. Curiously enough, I have fallen into the same pattern which is why humans are pattern seekers. We seek to understand everything through our cognitive perception of the world and through of insecurities about dissolution of knowledge. Our perceptual notions of the world are reliant on a serious understanding of the world to protect ourselves from falling within the darkness of ignorance. This ties into our correspondence bias of relating information from our perception a a general about an individual, when this isn't necessarily true.

This is why I found the passage quite an invigorating and refreshing piece on human psychology and reminds me why the human in such an interesting and developing piece of intuitive design, cohesive elements, and mental stimulation.

~Alter / Kamryn~

Comments from a few friends of mine.

Scourge: Interesting theory. However i find flaws in this way of thinking. It has been proven that humans typically use only about 13 percent of thier brains. Therefore one with a higher cognitive ability would in theory be able to discern truth from lies. Furthermore, i find that the experiment is not very controlled. When presented with information ... Read Moreportraining to what we are interested in, fact is easily discerned from fiction. I think that we do live in a society of declining brainpower, due to the facts that it is not necessary to be "smart" to live a successfull life, and that being smart is even sometimes scorned by society. I beleive that article to be true in a general sense, but i find holes in the logic.

Me: In logic there are always going to be several debatable statements and I see your point. Though, the control is not necessarily what is wrong with the statement. Intellect does not discern whether or not the truth is relative to what we think but in fact as a human reflex, our perceptual notions drag a sense of false beliefs. This is even with ... Read Moreeducated individuals who are cast from society / non-existent within a socialized place. We are reflexive to believing things we a re told from a totally objective perspective. You are correct in you statement that it is not a necessary notion to be "smart" to be a productive member of society, but you have to understand that the empathy of humans is not to discern evidence immediately, but over time to obtain evidence that falsifies and rationalizes our own thought processes.

Me: Very true, Shyan. I don't think it's America though. It's our reliance on the technological variations in our society accommodating varied intelligence levels for those who piggyback on a platform of laziness and ignorance.

Scourge: I think that the true answer is a mixture of both our theories, however there is insufficient data to suggest WHY this is happening, whereas we have been discussing how

Me:Rofl. Alex we are distanced upon this subject. Though I agree that there is laziness and social standardization that decreases the intelligence and use of intelligence in our society, there is also the facet that it us from this base that ignorance becomes the catalyst upon which it is fueled. People rely on things for them to have a stable condition. It is proven throughout time, that humans must engulf themselves within their own made up system of beliefs to compensate for the insecurities and lack of knowledge in the world. I'm pretty sure that you get where I'm coming from also.

I agree in entirety Alex. You are also correct that we haven't been discussing why this is happening. Shyan, I believe you are correct in that statement also. Individuals from past decades were forced to implement and exhibit higher levels of intelligence rather than now. Though, through technological advancements and intelligence combining with ... Read Morethese enhancements. The society of this day and age has inscribed themselves a stone in which we have the ability to discover more than was possible in the days and age of yore. Because the society today is based upon censorship and fabricating the truth to "protect" the frail skeletal nature of the human mind, it is necessary to fuel one's own desire for the fountain of knowledge to at least reach one's potential in relation to the past.

This is the entire post, you may want to take part in it or not. Just understand our points.

Robot Piece I'm working on.

2009-08-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

This is a fusion piece, combining different elements to become something quite nice. You know the drill. Comment Feedback, etc. Also it's not done, BTW. Lol.

New Song and Piece of Artwork.

2009-08-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

This is the Song on the piece of artwork below. Tell me how you like the Song and the piece. Please, feedback etc.

Stop, Slow, Go

It's cold outside, the rain is a blanket of gray.
The streets are lined with people, blank faces passing in a sea of time.
You throw your stuff in the back seat, mascara runs down your face.
The tears have come again, I'm sorry for hurting you like this.

So stop, just hold your car right there.
Are you looking for something to compare?
So stop, slow down and reach for the memories
The cold hard look in your eyes is haunting me.

My pain is burning down into my soul
The scars that I've inflicted have no place to go
The rain pours down and washes you away, Your running for the savior
Where is he today?

So slow, My thoughts are running to a halt
I can't believe stupidity has opened my faults.
So slow, I'm racing inside my endless pain
I've pushed you away, now I can't get away from here.

Your foot hit's the gas petal
Your finally leaving this town
All the smiles, and places are burning to the ground
In your mind, you've already abandoned this small hope
That I'll be the one to go with you to the end of the road.

So Go, Look at the road in front of you
It's paved with all the doors that you've opened, someplace brand new.
So Go, Tell all these memories goodbye
Leave the ones that hurt you and just leave us tonight.

Piece of Artwork I worked on for like an hour, maybe two. Idk.........

2009-08-19T02:12:00.000-07:00

DUDEZZZZZZ and DUDETTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ lol. Check out this piece I worked on. Not bad for a novice if I do say so myself. Comment, Concerns, Etc. You know the drill. Please.

This is an older piece I did for school. It's called Blues IN The Night

New Story

2009-08-16T11:31:00.000-07:00

From talking to my friend last night, I was just filled with a bunch of these thoughts about life and Girls and stuff and though I'm not the most romantic person. I still think i have an idea of what a girl would like. Here goes my rendition of an intimate scene between a girl and boy, in my eyes.

Between Us

Laying against the hardwood frame of my bed, I could the sweat sliding down my face in total awe of the angel that stood before me. She was a porcelain doll, her aroma filling my nose with the sweet scent of cherry blossoms and apricot. As her head lay against my bare chest, I could feel the heat welling up inside me ; making her smile as her hands slid across my neck down across my heart hearing the rapid thumps as I was nervous. Her red lips parted to call out my name, whether in pleasure or in awe was just exhilarating. I could feel the tremors retaking my hand all in one motion as she crawled closer to my lips and pressed her's against mine. The heat exploded within a ball of passion as I could feel her moving with me in one motion; her lips parting from mine leaving me gaping in awe from the want that I was feeling. She got up and walked slowly away, making me pant helpless on the floor like a dog for his kibble and I couldn't help myself. I felt the saliva procreating from my lips in an effort to prevent me from choking on how beautiful she was. My eyes drifted slowly from the bottom of her body all the way up to her majestic eyes. I gazed slowly at her porcelain skin which radiated directly in the moonlight making my eyes water in delight, her body was perfectly proportioned like a plate ready to be served and her eyes and hair were the icing on top of an already delectable dish. Her hair became like a small bright brown flame simmering in the auburn pigmentation and her eyes were the moons searing deep through my flesh pinging into my heart every thought she and I had ever conceived. The tremors retook my body and slammed me against the floor to seal me from running to her and doing what I wanted. Then I woke up.

Lol, I bet you were expecting a more........befitting ending. One with more metaphors and details. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Not in this PG-13 production. I'll make one M for mature one later. Lol.

Sprite Movie

2009-08-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted about it, but this summer I've yet to work on it. Gonna start it up though. Been meaning to, and I'm finally gonna get a chance to. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! Comment on ideas that you think it should be on. I'm curious, give me ideas or any feedback. Put up sprite images of the flock soon.

Alter Fighting Form

Boldizar

Master Of The Blue Flame

Dalton Fighting Form and Child Form

Shimmer Chimera

Eva

Bret

X

Lachlann

Jax

Scourge

Air Born

Avion Jake

Astrid

Dark

The Second Poem - Comment Urgently and Seriously.

2009-08-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

Here's that second poem, or song whichever you prefer. It's inspired by Black Keys - Jonas Brothers and Unknown Soldier - Breaking Benjamin. Here goes, comment and please give feedback.

Monochrome World -

I sit here as the green lights pass me by
The world is still going while I wait here, nothing waits for me.
The rainbow flies over these blue skies
A perfect world never seemed so Black and White.

Tell me why does this world seem so monochromatic
An untarnished panorama has never been this dull
Could you show me what's it like to see the world for what it is
Not this bleak painting across a dark sky.

The light's are out and here it is a faceless reality
Where everyone see's everything in a different light
I can't leave this world behind because even when everything is vibrant
There's no in between the lines for me to see

Monochromatic world's have never looked so beautiful
Vibrant skies have never been this dull
Hearts reaching out in the dark abyss
To touch the red lines beating out and leaving this world tonight.

Half-hearted attempts to reach through the colored walls
Have been blocked because the Green light's keep the world moving
Why can't it just turn to red now
The black walls are moving in, their moving in

Black and white have never looked so vibrant
The rainbow's have never seemed so dull
Green lights keep the world moving past
And Red lights keep the world turning to Ash
So let's live where there's no in between
Just you and Me.

Two poems.

2009-07-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

This is one poem. Comment Please. Another one to be posted soon.

Two Weeks -

Two weeks left unmarked on my calender.
I stand watching as the clock ticks you outta of my life.
The sands gave me a chance to save this memory from falling apart.
But in my hands a dream crumbled that day,
A dream that I could never replace.

In two weeks you'll be gone, blown like a whisper in the wind.
A reality I refuse to face, a reality that will crash down on me.
My arms held you seven weeks ago, never knowing what my heart would call for.
Back then it was friendly and now it remains a heartache to see you leave everyday.
Can I bear to watch you go? Years ticked away and I was unknowing of how I felt.
But can years tick away again without a voice calling out to you?

Silenced feelings sleep beneath a hidden gate.
Unbeknownst to you I watched from afar until like a flare you knew how I felt.
A friend I remained because from intelligence's bane, I could not show you affection.
And now I stand wallowing because you still remain a close friend.
Remaining in the dark though, I will still keep a smile on my face
To know that this has been a lesson learned for me.

Two weeks left unmarked on my calender
But for what it's worth I can say that we've had a good run.
The fun has been both painful and pleasurable
And as I sit here reminiscing on fond memories
I can say that creepy as it may be
We will always remember these days as they are and what they could have been.

Two weeks blanketed by mystery
And that will make all the difference.

Here's an imagery post again.

2009-07-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

I have another post coming up with this poem that I just wrote, but I opted to show some photography to prove to girl that her pictures are much better than mine. Here they are comment and then go to girl's blog and comment.

Sound in Nature

More Pics to prove to Girl that she's better in photography coming soon.

Song or Poem IDK!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT TAKE THAT AGAIN STORIES MWHAHAHAHAHA

2009-07-15T19:56:00.000-07:00

Well this would be a poem/song pertaining to a band I'm trying to start with Scourge called Renegade. It's a song about the world and us living as parts of the outside. Outcasts of an already ignorant society and the people that call themselves the "Renegades." Here it is Enjoy and Comment.

Renegade

In that dark abyss I stand
Searching for acceptance in an empty world
Who's calling out to me from the shadows?
No - one knows, it's just the wind whispering in a world burning to the ground.

So let's search for our place in the world
Nomads against the blank palette of society
Changing and living outside the walls of prosperity
Here we stand looking at the flames
The flames of change, The flames of the Renegade.

Who are they to put judgment down upon us
Blank faces institutionalized to the drum of everyday life.
Captivation ceases to grasp upon ignorance
But then again it's never been on the outside in the first place.

Searching for a place to call my own,
A sanctuary for those of us living on the outside, facing away from the inside.
It's burning the walls down, letting the beast in.
Captured silence seeks a place to be heard
Growling at the gates to let us be.
To find something we've wanted all along, somewhere we belong.

It hurts having no place to go
And we'll wander without even having the warmth there for us.
And it seems we'll remain without the know of what acceptance us or where it goes.
But here I'll stand on the ashes of destruction to rebuild what broken down.
We're still fighting, still moving with the flames of change,
The flames of wandering, The flames of the Renegade.

That's it I'm going to work around with it, but I guess that's all I have right now to show for it. I guess it was spurred from some mixed emotions I had been feeling over the past couple of days. Also, it was spurred to to Kat's downplay of her excellent writing capability which far surpasses mine. Anyways when she's done with her song/poem whatever. You can check which one is better. Please Comment, Next Installment soon. Working on a poem called "Her".

~Alter Cosmos~

Third Installment: This time it's a poem. HAHAHAHAHA TAKE THAT STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-07-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well in this week's episode, I'm breaking away from the story lines and divulging into poetry to express emotional standpoints and views that have re-surfaced in the past couple of days. Here's the poem, Enjoy and COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Past and Present

Looking back all I can see
Are the memories of you and of me
We were so different back then
Maybe more Naive or less prepared for the real world back then
I thought I could supplement that reality for this one we had made together
But I was wrong.

It was never meant to be something that would last
Only a flare in the dark abyss I called life.
But for that moment it remained a silver lining amongst the clouds
You were that one spark that took away my pain and anguish.
There were already other wheels set in motion that would tear us apart in the end
In reality, we were never together in the first place.

Then came the dawn of the darkness pressuring us apart.
The reality was it was only several months
But looking at it now, it felt like years had struck through the rung in my soul.
I guess as time passed emotions died down also,
The flames of passion back then became cinders and ash between the forgotten.
We both went back to our lives, remaining distant ghosts among a sea of drama.

Now time has reverted back to normal and seemingly remains the way before we met.
I've gone back to living life under the remains of the shadow I once was.
Drama seems beset in your life, flamed under constant confusion and drama.
We've drifted apart slowly, the memories sifting under the sands of time,
But I guess I've remained thinking about you.
Not in the same way anymore, but still thinking of what happened to cause the rift.

We've repossessed every fiber of our beings to drag apart those old feelings.
They remain buried under the rubble of time, but still they might stay somewhere.
But seeing as how something else has become a parasite in my brain.
And how an Ant is crawling in your path, it shall remain forever changed.
Here and now, we shall stand as friends looking back at what was
And what shall probably never be again.

How was it? TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, PLEASE I NEED FEEDBACK. Next installment due out soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Installment: A Story Again ( Gosh I'm just full of these recently)

2009-07-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

This is another story that is just pulsating out of my mind. Enjoy and Comment!!!!!

starrt hinter dem Glas

As the sun set upon the small house, I could see her bathed in twilight. Her porcelain skin was only sparked by the amber hair that flowed flawlessly down to her shoulders. I couldn't stop staring, but then again what foolish mortal I was. Looking toward false hopes to cope with the fact that she would remain an absent deeply rooted in a life I would never obtain. I kept watching her through her through this glass I had made myself, a figment of my imagination of course because I knew she would never look at me the same way I looked at her. I turned away with a smile on my face knowing that she would be happy with someone else and that she liked someone else. I would always be the close friend that would never be anything more. I chuckled at the thought of me ever being able to pull her as I was. The limp muscles in my body, the inability to carry my own weight, the unappealing physical attributes. I was a walking deterrent standing at the crossroads of friend and enemy. I'm awkward, disdainful, strange, weak; I thought to myself. I looked back and saw her staring right back through the glass straight at me. I froze in my place feeling every nerve hold it's breath in my body. The sweat dripped out of my pores in slow motion as I wondered if she saw me looking at her through the glass. Does she know how I feel about her now? I waited silently feeling my heart pump rapidly and the saliva curving down my gullet as she neared closer to me. Her beauty radiated so brightly I could feel the pressure turning my bones into gelatin and my emotions into an amalgamation of fireworks that pressured me into running up to her and kissing her on her crimson lips, but I held my breath and just waited for her to come up to me. Her steps seemed to fly in slow motion, just ticking away at the clock keeping me in the dark abyss waiting for some sort of sign to know if she even had the same type of emotion for me. She passes by me slowly and I can feel the hairs on my arm begin to stand on the ends, charged with a passionate electricity that hit deep within my soul. She turned around and looked at with me with her amber eyes that seared into my flesh heating my heart up with hope and disdain. Her arms surround my body and my arms slip around her waist in an embrace neither passionate, nor heart-warming. It was just friendly and warm like her feelings for a friend, or a friend that was closer than many tried to become. She slips around the corner and I can feel my lips parting to call her name..............but I stop in the middle of my sentence and think for a minute. I'll wait for her, I'm not going anywhere and she's not going to stop me from being that guy. The boy..............the friend...........the infatuated guy starring through his imaginary glass waiting for the right moment and the right time in life to ask her that single question.

Good Story Huh? I don't know where it came from lol. I think It's adequate not great, it could have been a lot better; but it was the best I could come up with lol. Comment PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting Ideas Off My Mind.

2009-06-11T16:46:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I've been having quite a lot of thoughts floating around in my head and I need to get some of them off before I explode. Maybe not explode, but just to iron some feelings that need to be expressed and some ideas that cannot be contained. The first idea will be in the form of a story called "schwarz Straße"

There were many roads before me, I stood at the path looking around the bend to see my fate. A road is much like life, it may extend and there are many paths coming from it but eventually they all have a dead end. I stood at the crossroads of my life trying to make a choice, seeing the bend and knowing what was ahead frightened me. My heart couldn't bear to stay in my chest and my body resisted every thought that dragged my feet forward. Which way was it that I should go? Which path should I have taken. There was a poem I read once that the path least traveled by has made all the difference and that even though the path may be open on one side, there is always somewhere else you can go. I sat in the middle of the crossroads thinking hard and dreaming in my mind of all the things that could be standing before me. Life is a reoccuring factor of chaos, pain, misery spewed into a meaningless existence dragging on for miles I began telling myself at one point. The only way to truly be happy in life was to miserable as to understand the full extent of happiness. So one could only attain a perfect path by understanding that any path would cause hurt before causing paradise to be achieved. It reminded me of one thing that I heard quite a long time ago, to put you into Paradise, God must put you through Hell. I stood up looking at all the roads before me with eyes wide and my heart seemingly calm as I dragged toward the black Road before me. I could see no bend at the end of the road, nothing in the distance and not a single life form moving about in the black abyss, but in order to achieve true happiness I would have to go to hell and back and that was the way the world worked. That was the way life would always go for me and that was the only way to truly achieve a sense of Nirvana.

That was installment one, stay tuned for the next week's episode.

Creative Crops.

2009-05-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

This is an assignment from class to look at a photograph from an alternative perspective.

I give you - The Thinker.

Please Comment and give ideas as to how I could Improve.

I'm BACKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

2009-05-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

Finally, I'm myself again. Hey everyone, It's good to be back. Anyways. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHER'S OUT THERE. THE MEAN, THE GOOD, THE IN-BETWEEN. THEY ALL DESERVE A LITTLE LOVE TODAY. SO GET OUT THERE AND GIVE YOUR MOM SOME APPRECIATION. I MEAN IF SHE WASN'T HERE THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE. SO GIVE SOME PROPS TO THEM.

HERE'S MY MOTHER DAY CARD THAT I MADE FOR MY MOM.

Hello Everyone - Urgent Read Now and Comment With Ideas, Personal Experiances, Or Concerns.

2009-05-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, It's me. I've felt a little lost in the past week. Kind of searching for myself and Looking for something that I didn't have before. Maybe I found it this week, maybe I didn't, but I'm feeling more like myself this week. Distance seems to come onto me when under situations where I need to be myself, but for now I'm back and hope that everyone will appreciate that I'll be returning to most of my normal things that I do. Like coming on the chat more often and trying to participate in newer RPG's.

On a side note, here's some Artwork I did for class. Tell me what you think. It's entirely made with Text - Words, or sentences for that matter. Comment and tell me what you think. Much appreciated from all.

Alter Cosmos - Friend, RPG - er, and All-around Helpful Guy.
- Individuality is the product of the human mind to differ from the standard of the mind. Is it in my mind that I want to differ from the world, thus making me forget who I truly am? Who am I, Am I the guy that everyone perceives me as, or am I a totally different person from who I am perceived to be? The question is not what is my individual personality and form, but how all of those perceptions shape me into a being of complexities and enigmatic shadows.

Image for Class.

2009-04-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Check out the site uelsmann.com and you'll see what I have to do.
Please, Please I need feedback before I turn it in. It's due tomorrow.

Two Poems.

2009-04-02T15:33:00.000-07:00

These are two poems that I've written. Please Comment and give feedback. I crave it. Please.

Just For Her

Here she stands
The girl I look at from a distance
I wish I could tell her how I feel
How my world would be black without her
How my life would be a living hell without her.

There she goes
As I watch from behind my glass booth
I want her to be happy
Even if it means breaking my heart
To see her be with someone else.

Does she care
That with every move she makes
I find myself farther from her
And almost dying of my love
To be near her.

Well I don't care
If she doesn't know how my heart beats for her.
I don't care
If she doesn't see me in front of that glass.
I don't care
If she doesn't see that I'm dying without her.

Because to live in a world where she's just there,
Is enough to keep me living on another day.
To see her smile and her face
I can bear the pain.

I love her.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

A Big Disappointment

Is it worth the struggle,
To do something and see no fruition?
Is the trial worth the tribulation,
When there is only disappointment at the end?

I search with my soul,
The answer to this question.
There is no good, there is no bad
Only the fire of a forked tongue,
In my pathway pelting me with
Stones on the way down.

Is life worth the disappointment
When you look and see that the road
Has no panoramic view?
When there is fire and brimstone
Lining my path and redemption seems
Like a dream.

Is life worth living,
If I feel like a big disappointment
To everyone on the way?
The answer is so close,
Yet not quite there.
But when the fire and brimstone path ends
I'll be waiting for the answer.

New Layout

2009-03-19T16:43:00.003-07:00

Comment On The New Layout.

~Alter Cosmos~
- Change Is Extraordinary. -

Me Singing Horribly Again - Comment Please

2009-02-18T17:36:00.001-08:00

Another video of me singing horribly, though i butchered the song. Listen to this song by the Script called Before The Worst, awesome band awesome song, even though i totally killed it. heheheheh, and i know it cuts off abruptly during the video, my camera died so that's all i got. Take into account that i do have a cold, but i think even without the cold it would still suck lol

Hello Everyone

2009-02-10T20:58:00.000-08:00

OK, this is the first post in which I have no basis on what I want to write. Usually I'm always ready to write a typical story, post a picture of artwork I did, Songs, Poems, etc, but today I genuinely do not have anything in particular to write about.
So I'm just going to wing it today, I guess i should talk about several things that have been probing my mind for the longest and I need to get them out.

To start off with what's on my mind I guess I'll begin with what people know first.

1) The reason I'm quitting Flamex - Most people have probably been curious as to the reason for my sudden withdrawal from the flock and here is the reason. About a week and several days ago, there was an incident that happened on the chat site. It started off with several individuals on the chat including Dark, Nitru, Minx, Dark-Wolf ( I believe ) and Girl. I came on as Cain Cosmos and asked them to accompany me on a journey to save Alter because I noticed that the chat was getting pretty "soap - opera like" and I aimed to try and change the simple dialogue with action. So we went to "Hell" and that's how the mission began, keep in mind that Dark is sometimes very oblivious to the fact that there are others ideas that do not naturally coincide with his own ideas. Sometimes Dark fails to see that he has tried to take over control of something that one man started. This is what happened in this case, Dark seemed to be oblivious to the fact that I wanted the RPG to break away from the seals of immortality and invulnerability. But Dark seemed to ignore that fact and seemingly took over control by saying that he wasn't scared and ultimately slowing down the RPG speed that was in-visioned at the beginning of the RPG. So this led up to the point in which I got tired of his constant "Immortality and Bravado" that I launched a miniscule attack on him, in which he got angry and said this is childish. Now what made me angry was the fact that he wouldn't be subdued, his ignorance to the fact that using immortality and invulnerability turns a normally exciting RPG into a boring and lax game.

2) Well my girlfriend broke up with me, this is not really as much as a big deal as I thought it would be at first. The important thing is that even though she did break up with me, she remains a close friend to me. Which is more than I can say for any previous girlfriend I've had, who've dumped me for other guys and then come back when they realize that physical attributes are not as important as mental ones. My ex-girlfriend still remains very close and still helps me with a lot of my problems that I face when it comes to girl trouble. As most people can realize, I'm very bad with girls, I tend to freeze up and find myself unable to communicate how I feel through words. It's a mental block I assume I've set up for myself to prevent a disappointing feeling if the situation turns out in the negative. Meaning the girl rejects me, which has happened on numerous occasions if you haven't noticed. But still my ex-girlfriend is very helpful in these situations because she knows how I think, I have a very different way of looking at girls. Meaning I do not just look at physical attributes, which I do tend to do, but i also look at other attributes as well. These include funniness, personality, smarts, philosophical and physiological attributes. If anyone could help me with figuring out how to destabilize this mental block that has been set up in my mind, it would be greatly appreciated. Preferably answers from girls please. Guys can answer, but I'd much rather prefer someone of the female origin giving me advice.

3) OK, this is the last venting section of my blog and I would assume that most people have been in a situation like this................( have to go to work)

~Alter Cosmos~
-Time is running thin, but with the force of Hope strengthening the flock. There is nothing that cannot be defeated.-

Another Song - Comment And Feedback

2009-01-30T22:08:00.000-08:00

OK I just couldn't help it, Looking at Katie's Song I knew i had to step my game up really far just to get to where her level is. This is a song that started to fill me up, while i was reading Kat's song. This is another one I'm gonna write.

Entitled - Don't Tell Me The Truth

Your body holds all your secrets
Your eyes are telling all of your lies
I'm seeing right through your deception
But I still can't bring myself to say goodbye

So Don't Tell Me The Truth
Let's stand here alone tonight
It's me and you in the starlight
So let's keep our secrets tonight

You look out towards him
And I look towards her
Crying on the insides with our lies
You want him and I want her
But We don't want to give up on each other
And I Still can't bring myself to say goodbye

So Don't Tell Me The Truth
Let's stand here alone tonight
It's me and you in the starlight
So let's keep our secrets tonight

We can feel the build-up
The tension is high
My heart is breaking down in two
I can see in your face
The pain that I made
Breaking you in half with heartache
And I still can't bring myself to say goodbye

So Don't Tell Me The Truth
Let's stand here alone tonight
It's me and you in the starlight
So let's keep our secrets tonight

Let's keep our secrets tonight
So please Don't Tell Me The Truth

Probably still doesn't compete with what Kat has, but for such a short notice this has some potential. Please Comment And Give Feedback for me and Katie.

Contest Level Two - Song Writing

2009-01-26T15:24:00.000-08:00

Ok this is the second level of competition that me and Katie are going towards since the previous level ended in a 1:1 ratio of liking. This competition level is consistant of Song Writing capabilities. Please comment on both blogs and give feedback as to who is better.

Song - "Listen To Me"

Look towards me and what do you see
A boy or the man that I'm trying to be
Your lost in your thoughts so you can't see
Or hear what I'm trying to say

I'm waiting for you to hear
"Listen to Me that's all I'm asking"
"Listen to Me before I let go....."
Your leaving me helpless
Caught without a voice
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking

You listen to her, and you'll listen to him
I'm telling you things, but your not ever listening
Your walking blindly off of a plank
Cause you won't ever hear what I'm trying to say

And I'm waiting for you to hear
"Listen to Me that's all I'm asking"
"Listen to Me before I let go....."
Your leaving me helpless
Caught without a voice
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking

This one last time
I'm trying to believe
That you really do care
But it feels like you leaving me

I'm waiting for you to hear
"Listen to Me that's all I'm asking"
"Listen to Me before I let go....."
Your leaving me helpless
Caught without a voice
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking

I'm making you see what you can't see
But listen to me, that's all I'm asking.

Contest Level One - Poetry

2009-01-23T14:01:00.000-08:00

Me and Katie having a contest on who is a better writer because I believe that I am an adequate writer. But Katie thinks I am, personally I believe Katie is a better writer but this is what this contest is for. If you do not know Kat's blog adress, it is katie-mo32.blogspot.com please look at her poem and then compare to mines. Give feedback and tell who's was better.

Entitled - Are We Alone?

Are We Alone?
Everywhere we turn there's a brick wall
We look around at all the destruction
It's a lonely world with just two people

But there is nothing better than spending it with you
Even if the world collapsed, a world without you
Is not a world at all, just a black hole.

Are we Alone?
No we are not alone, there's friends everywhere
There is no more destruction, only hope
A white light beneath the dark abyss of night

So this is not a black hole anymore
It is just the dream, I've always wanted it to be
There's no more to say, and no more to think about
Because the question is not "Are we Alone?"
The question is "Are we ever going to be alone again?"
And the answer is no.

An Occasional Poem I Had To Write For Class

2009-01-20T17:22:00.000-08:00

This is an occasional poem i had to write for class, it was about inauguration day. So if you could give me feedback and critique that would be greatly appreciated. Also if you could act like a teacher and give me a grade based on what i wrote, please do. That would also be appreciated.

Entitled – A New Day and a New Hope

An auspicious day this was, January 20th 2009
As the Bush administration ended, another stood in line
This time of darkness has ended, eight years of crime to be undone
A new light stands brighter now, together we will have won.

For past, present, and future stood on Capitol Hill
To see the torch of passing, the light of America’s will
We hope that yesterday’s sorrow, will not be tomorrow’s pain
This day has brought the new, cleansing of the rain.

The future is not one of easy passing, or even painless fights
But this day has paved a new road to the revival of America’s rights.
On January 20, 2009 there was neither black nor white, neither minority nor majority.
This day has brought America’s hope, and that is worth more than anything ever seen

Wrote This Just Yesterday - Comment And Feedback Would Be Greatly Apperciated

2009-01-16T20:37:00.000-08:00

I Wrote This Just Yesterday, Within A 20-30 Minute Period. You Can Ask The Girl Who Could Fly. She Will Tell You About It. Anyways Comment And Give Feedback Please. It Will Be Well Appreciated.

Prologue
The icy wind howled throughout the desolate wasteland, crying out for the lost souls that littered the battlefield. I sat in the middle of the field with bodies scattered about the ground around my feet and the crimson liquid painting a picture of intense violence and horrible visions. “Why can’t I remember what happened, when I try to remember all I see is red…………………” is what I whisper to myself as the pitter-pat of sweat, anguish, and fear bleed off my face and into a deep wrinkle creased within my dirt-ridden pants. My mind races with flashes of light, the burning heat sears into my flesh and I can feel the burning rage creeping over me as I watch the faces of people drop to the ground in rapid succession. I can hear a voice calling out, Is it mine? That I do not know, but these people are so familiar………………so…………………close to me. My mind tears through all of my thoughts trying to rip the hidden memories of what happened to these bodies and who I am, it tries to bring me closure but all I can see is the blankness of what is not there. Who am I, What caused this terrible bloodshed, am I a monster, and who are those people that seem so close but yet so far?

Beginning
I lay face down with the musty pillow absorbing the tears from my pores. My caramel skin locked in between the damp smell of the pillow and my small bush of hair that tied itself together like the bristles of an ox’s fur. I can hear the knock at the door with the faint feminine smell of perfume and make-up permeating the rank air of the hotel room bed. “Hello Sarah, please enter the room. It’s unlocked.” I bellow with a monotonous tone that masks my feelings. “That is unlike you, James; you’re usually so much more meticulous when it comes to protecting yourself. What are you thinking about that has made you so vulnerable in this state?” Sarah retorts with the utmost charisma and feeling. My eyes slide from under the pillows white sheet, out to where Sarah is standing. Her thin figure was nothing much to behold, well except for her perfect eyes which glimmered like the sun beneath a hazel mirror. Her cheeks that radiated with such a crimson hue that when she blushed it created a sudden surge of heat in the room and her smile which where as white as the snowy earth that littered the northern hemisphere at this point of the year.
I jumped back up letting the creases of my clothes spring back to life in a miraculous jump-start and I felt my lean figure creak and crack with slow movements of my sleeping muscles. “I was thinking back to my past, where you found me and what my true name is………” I managed to croak out of my hoarse voice box. Yes, my name isn’t James and I’ve realized that for some time now even though Sarah continuously calls me James or Josh. Suddenly there’s another smell that enters the room in one fluid moment, and it’s so pungent that I can taste it in every fiber of my mouth. “That smells…......” I inhale the scent as my whisper turns to a yell “sulfur…………………….DUCK!!!!!!!” I yell as time seems to slow in my eye. The wood splinter breaks apart slowly as the heat of the metal and charcoal eat through the remaining fibers of wood. Sarah falls slowly from where she was standing as the half football rips the flesh off the top of her arm and the heat eats away at her flesh creating a black flame trail as it passed by heading straight for between my eyes.
Time reverts to normal and the speed at which I move is amazing, but the bullet tears through my shoulder blade, driving like a knife into the bone marrow and engraving its sharp point into my skin. I drop onto the sheets with crimson glue bonding my shirt together with my indistinguishable skin.

Some Art I Did In Class

2009-01-14T12:04:00.000-08:00

I Painted A Picture, With A Program lol It's Called Corel Painter. Not the picture, i mean the program. The picture was at an anime con that me and my friends went to this year. I'm the one in the jacket, scourge is the one in the yellow and blacked striped shirt. The other guy is a bud of mine and Scourge named Brocklee. Tell me how it is, i'll put up the original picture to, so you can see what i did. Be aware that this is the first time i've ever done this type one of these projects or ever used this program.

After

Before

My Friend Needs Help - Seriously

2009-01-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

Friend of mine likes this girl, but doesn't know if she likes him back. And he want's to call her on her phone to check out if she feels the same, and to ask her out. But he can't bring himself to do it. He told me that his heart is saying "You can Do it" but his body and mind are saying "No You Can't." He's done this before, i mean asking a girl out and everything. But he says it's so much harder with this girl, like there's a wall inside him.

What should he do, Should he call the girl and ask her out, and find out how she feels? Or just live without knowing, but saving himself the heartbreak if she doesn't like him?

New Song I Wrote

2009-01-11T10:43:00.000-08:00

This is a new song I wrote called "Shadow Of What I Once Was"
Please Leave Comments, and Feedback.

Just one last chance
I know I can make it up
Just give me that last breath
I'll know you'll live it up

But I'm dying,
slowly without you here
and I'm crying, just one last breath
to know your near

I'm a shadow of what I once was
Everything brings back the memories
That I loved
Could you give me, one last chance to make it up
Cause I don't wanna be a shadow of what I was

Looking out in silence, the empty seat right next to me
Everything reminds me, of what i wanted it to be
But i can't see, if you feel the same about me
but just come back, i promise to make you feel differently

But I'm dying,
slowly without you here
and I'm crying, just one last breath
to know your near

I'm a shadow of what I once was
Everything brings back the memories
That I loved
Could you give me, one last chance to make it up
Cause I don't wanna be a shadow of what I was

Could you give me, one last chance
to hear your breathing, i want to know
that your near. Please forgive me, i never
meant to hurt you, but don't leave me.
your tearing my heart in two

I'm a shadow of what I once was
Everything brings back the memories
That I loved
Could you give me, one last chance to make it up
Cause I don't wanna be a shadow of what I was

A shadow of what i once was...................

My Story That I'm Working On

2009-01-07T14:47:00.000-08:00

The First Paragraph of a story i've entitled for now "Dycera's Tribulation" pronounced (Die-Cera). Also read karly's intro and tell me which you like better. Me and Karly are having a contest. I say her's is better and she's says mine is. so tell me what you think.

Chapter 1 – The Plan

Dycera sat idly on his steel cot, the creaking sound as he shifted trying to find a comfortable spot was the only sound that echoed in the sterile air of the dark box they kept him in. His eyes fluttered beneath his closed eyelids as he tried to re-create the room as a way of focusing his thoughts. In his mind the 8x9 ft. room appeared, it’s black scarred concrete appearing first allowing the foul bloody stench to punch into Dycera’s nostril cavities and allow an influx of the garbage that the prison served for food to burst back up into his mind form’s throat. Feeling the burning sensation in his throat, Dycera chuckled thinking about how crappy the warden kept what he called his pride and joy. All that bastard cares about is booze and raping those hot girls in yard 16, Dycera thought out loud as the mental hole he was still in rumbled and shook uncontrollably. Dycera immediately rooted himself firmly in a tense position and let the rest of the encasement close around him, the four side walls appeared first bathed in a solution of twilight and shadow that seeped in from a small barred window that sat in the top left corner of the room and spread out from the iron door that seemed to block all forms of happiness including light. Dycera let his mind form take a swift turn off the bed and take both of his crusted, dry, and rough hands up behind the nape of his neck where there seemed to be a giant forest-like tuff of matted hair and interlock. Dycera let his mind sink back against the cool and damp wall as he let the small prickles of the sheet rock pierce tiny holes in his jumpsuit and massage his tense back into submission. Feeling the calming movements of the millions of tiny fingers, he let his mind seep into the memory bank, where he remembered a hymn of ancient times that was used to calm him as a child. “Darkness runs like a spider’s web, running through piece by piece, a moving joint in the everlasting darkness waiting to catch its prey. Its waits and waits, years, decades, millenniums only seconds, hours, days to the darkness and finally it springs, catching it slowly making it writhe and shake only to be eaten by the master of it. But throughout the Darkness there is light that pierces the night veil, one angel that counteracts the demons that lurk in the darkness, one angel…” ‘Angel’ a word that gave Dycera no joy anymore, as a child he felt proud to be an angel almost strangely he felt that he was better than anyone who didn’t have wings. His hands split from their interlocking stance and slid down to two large crease spots in his maroon jumpsuit, as he rubbed spot he could hear the voice of his father yelling at how long it had taken him to get a diviner and he still hadn’t gotten it yet. “You worthless piece of crap, you can’t get anything done, you’ve been gone for two years and still you don’t even a hint that you tried to get the diviner” his father the king of angels would say and Dycera would’ve retorted with his usual smart-ass remarks saying “whatever, screw this anyway, bye’ father’. “

Songs On The Piano I Made For Flamex

2008-12-30T16:23:00.000-08:00

These are two different piano songs that i created, and i made it solely for flamex. Tell me which is better and then welllll give critique i guess lol.

Me and Dark

At A Loss Here

2008-12-11T19:38:00.001-08:00

I have no idea what to write about. So please could you give me a suggestion.

Sprite Movie For The Flock

2008-12-10T14:50:00.000-08:00

I am making a sprite movie for the flock. It is entitled "Flamex: Rise and Fall of Nightmares And Dreams"

It's actually coming along very nicely. I'm planning on giving background information on all of the characters throughout the Video when i begin production. I currently changed the spriting characters i originally planned to use for this video because the newer ones have better graphic and anesthetic qualities. And it's better if all the sprites are usually same quality of making. Didn't want to have heavily rasterized sprites for certain people and not for others. So i re-did them. Also if you want to be included in this video, then i suggest that you either email me or comment on this post so i will include you in this video. If you email or comment, please give me a brief physical description and a power description and i will create your sprite at my earliest convenience. These are some of the individuals in the movie, or supposed to be in the movie.

The Girl Who Could Fly

Alter Cosmos

X

Dark Gothvian

Nightmare Vision

Karly Jo

Aden Laden

Jax

Katrina

Songs I've Written, they are not great, but i want criticism.

2008-11-23T21:29:00.001-08:00

Wrote this tonight, its called the "Last Goodbye"

If I died tonight
Would you care if I leave you?
With this one last goodbye

And If I vanish forever
Will you be there to say?
To say that I love you tonight

Now this is my final chance
To make you mines
And this is my life
Ill spend it all for you
But if I’m gone tonight
Then this is my last goodbye.

One more night I’ll be here
To stay, but one more night is
All I have to give you.

So I’ll be yours for my final night
And ill be yours for this last time
But I I’ll be yours for my final day
And tonight, I will say I will say
That I love you

Now this is my final chance
To make you mines
And this is my life
Ill spend it all for you
But if I’m gone tonight
Then this is my last goodbye.

And this is my last night with you
My last night with you
But I won’t be gone
I’ll be yours forever

This is one when i first tried to write a song, its called "The Puppet And The Man"

I’m just a puppet
A lonely puppet on your devilish stage
I whisper to the audience to help me make you happy
Cause I’m loving every moment that you smile and play with me

Just slow down
This is my final act
My final act to prove to you that I truly do care
And if you don't watch me tonight
Then I won't stop because this is the time and I’m playing the puppet
The puppet in your heart

Your lonely stare makes my strings burn away
I want to see your smile again
I wave around letting your grin explode into laughter
And I dance to make you love me

Just slow down
This is my final act
My final act to prove to you that I truly do care
And if you don't watch me tonight
Then I won't stop because this is the time and I’m playing the puppet
The puppet in your heart

This is my, this is my
This is my final act for you
I sit at the stage crying for you
I grow into the man you want me to be
Your eyes shine right through me
And my tears turn into an angel’s crystal
As you turn to me and slowly whisper those three little words

Just slow down
This is my final act
My final act to prove to you that I truly do care
And as you finally watch me
I will play more than puppet
I will play the puppet and the man
The man you need me to be................................

Dark Gothvian

2008-11-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

Well as you may have heard, the leader of Flamex, Dark Gothvian, is currently incapacitated in the Scarvian Belt. Where he was trapped by a demon named Rouka or as some of you may know Chiharu. First order of business is of course, the retrieval of Chiharu and stopping of her rampage. This is very important because we do not need any more death's on our hands. I propose we watch out for her as a precaution and do not trust anyone, you do not know, or who will not reveal their identity's to you because this is endangerment to you as well as the flock.Secondly is me and my friend havoc becoming leaders. I do not demand respect and i really don't mind if I receive or not, I am just here as a fill in for Dark. All I ask is this, respect everyone in the flock equally and Dark we will return as soon as we can possibly get him out of the Scarvian Belt, i am just asking that you hold on and we'll get through this as a team should get through this. Together we rise, but alone we die. This is what i hope you all listen to for now.

~Alter Cosmos and Abel Cosmos~

-Leaders But Not Yet Leaders-

My Sprite Movie Of The Flock

2008-11-12T21:05:00.000-08:00

This will be my greatest sprite animation ever, or I'm planning for it to be. This is the first episode and will consist of the original members of Dark's Flock Flamex. This is the story of how the founding members came to be and how we ended up together. So this video will have in it - Me-Alter / Havoc / Dark / The Girl / Karly / X / Jax / Tyu / and several other people including Lachlann and maybe 1 or 2 more. Comment if I'm forgetting anyone who was in the original flock, before all the other people came aboard (namely the 40 members we have now). Here are a picture of the sprites I'm using for Havoc, Karly, and Myself. Send me a message if you have any questions, and i will require all the people in this movie besides Karly, and Havoc to give me a description of themselves with their powers so that i may depict you properly. Also if you've used sprites before and have a request as to what you want, please do tell and email me at Dycera_crew@yahoo.com.

This is Alter

This is Havoc

This is Karly

Alter Singing Horribly Please Listen HAHA

2008-11-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

Me Singing "Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet" by Fall Out Boy, off their newest album Folie A Deux'. Great Song if you ever ger the chance to listen to the actual version. And BTW i am giving permission to laugh at my inability to sing etc., so please comment truthfully. I'd rather have a truthful person, than a liar. TTYL FEAR MY EVIL LAUGH MWHAHAHAHAHA

My "Wow" Poster

2008-10-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_d0K5RQrKXag/SP0Cx8hFwfI/AAAAAAAAAJg/X_qv-1wB9iM/s1600-h/Wow.jpg">

This is my "WOW" poster, please tell me if it invokes a "WOW" feeling or saying the word wow.

Songs I've Been Listening To Currently

2008-10-10T18:05:00.000-07:00

I Can't Decide Which One To Be My New Theme Song. Please Tell Me Which One You Prefer

Goo Goo Dolls - Before It's To Late

I wandered through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood a distance to see who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

And hold on before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost

So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til' it's gone

And hold on before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
Love til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives

So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til' it's gone

Hold on before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

And hold on before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall, just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life

Nickelback - Savin' Me

Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you

Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you

Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin, I'm fallin

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be

And say it for me, say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gate won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you

These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge on the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you

Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin, I'm fallin

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be

And say it for me, say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Hurry I'm fallin'

Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin, I'm fallin

Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be

And say it for me, say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Hurry I'm fallin'

And say it for me, say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

This Girl

2008-10-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

The Tournament Seems To Be Having Effects On My Body.

2008-10-06T20:52:00.001-07:00

This tournament seems to be bringing the best to the table, and my inner power is starting to awaken realizing that they're going to be some very difficult battles. I've activated new powers and a new transformation has affected my body, including my left eye and my left arm. These are the changes in me :

Morality play

2008-09-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

Entitled Everysutdent this is the begging of a morality play i'm writing for class (i'm fourteen, this is so not what i had i mind when i woke up and went to school)

Parent: Everystudent, GRADUATION is coming soon, what have
Have you been doing to accomplish this, I mean your grandfather
Was a Harvard graduate, with a Ph.d in Law, but you seem to put
Graduation to the side as if it doesn’t bother you.
Everystudent: But PARENT how can I think of GRADUATION at such
A time in my life, there are so much other things to accomplish,
JOB and FRIENDS are priorities to, and GRADUATION can wait. If I
Only talk to PRINCIPAL to give me more time.
Parent: THERE IS NO SUCH THING!!!!! You have to make time
For Graduation this should be your top priority, live not for the present
But also for the future, Everystudent, this is a matter of your future, you
Cannot simply put it away like a skeleton in your closet, this is now.
Everystudent: But you fail to comprehend the severity of what this is
Doing to FRIENDS right now, I bet she is going crazy wondering why I’m
Spending so much time with ACADEMICS and BEHAVIOR and not with
Her.
Parent: Fine then, Go Everystudent, go and play in the amenities of life, but
When GRADUATION comes to seek you out, do not run, because you will
have brought this upon yourself. Everyman: Fine I will seek out PRINCIPAL and they will know what to do and can help me for the time when GRADUATION comes. Principal: Hello Everystudent, what brings you to me? Everystudent: Hello Principal, I have a question. Can you help
Me to

2008-09-24T18:14:00.000-07:00

This is a video, watch it lol

Hello This Is Zeon

2008-09-23T05:07:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone greetings to all of you, I am Alter's Little Brother or as he now calls me, Zeon. I am just saying hello to everyone because Alter is in some trouble right now, he got caught by one of his old friends and they are holding him hostage. He's being tortured as we speak, and we need to immediately go save him. I know where he is but sadly it's blocked by an astrological entity. An old entity we both fought many years ago and we thought she and he died. But it seems they haven't. Here are pictures of both of them and a picture of me if you look at for reference.

That's What I Look Like and now here's the other two, the first is the male - We call him Abel, Abel the Ghost.

Those were pictures I took Recently before he shot me, don't worry I'm perfectly fine, and here's the female - Her name, her true name is Eve Hearts.

And the picture coming up after this is a picture of her mate, or her current mate Levi The Red Hammer. Her past mate was Alter, no offense to Karly, and the relationship didn't last long due to the immediate death of her. I think this is where her anger to him comes from but i wouldn't know.

Please help save my brother, he needs all of us now more than ever. Let's work our best to get him out of their clutches.

Photos

2008-09-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

A Twist In My Story

2008-09-17T16:51:00.001-07:00

This is an awesome song that I'm trying to play and sing, though I'm not a great singer I am a decent guitar player, and when i say decent I mean mediocre. But anyways before I go on this wild tangent the song is called A Twist In My Story by Secondhand Serenade, Awesome band by the way. But anyway, this is the Lyrics, I want to dedicate this someone like my brother said i did if you read the last post, but sadly I have no one to dedicate this to. If you want this to be dedicated to you just post a comment just say so. No guys though because that would be creepy seriously, I'm being serious though, Girls strictly, no guy dedications. But guys can dedicate this to a girl that is acceptable, but anyways here's the lyrics:

Slow down, the world isn't watching us break down
It's safe to say we are alone now, we're alone now
Not a whisper, the only noise is the receiver
I'm counting the seconds until you break the silence
So please just break the silence

The whispers turn to shouting
The shouting turns to tears
Your tears turn into laughter
And it takes away our fears

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you

And I'm longing, for words to describe how I'm feeling
I'm feeling inspired
My world just flip turned upside down
It turns around, saw that's that sound
It's my heart beat, it's getting much louder
My heart beat, is louder than ever
I'm feeling alive, I'm feeling alive

My whispers turn to shouting
The shouting turns to tears
Your tears turn into laughter
And it takes away our fears

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you

I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me
I'm finally waking up, a twist in my story
It's time I open up, and let your love right through me
That's what you get
When you see your life in someone else's eyes
That's what you get, that's what you get

So you see, this world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you
This world doesn't matter to me
I'll give up all I had just to breathe
The same air as you till the day that I die
I can't take my eyes off of you

HeHeHe

2008-09-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

HeHeHe this is Alter's little brother, he's probably going to be pissed when he finds this post but I don't care because I'm evil hahaha, nope I'm not evil but still, he got into a car accident for those of you who don't know, he sprained his shoulder and twisted his neck, so he's on bed rest. But he keeps moping around the house and it's annoying the hell outta me, so I decided to piss him off by putting this up. He was wanting to dedicate this song to somebody and I know who he wants to dedicate it to. So here's the song awake by Secondhand Serenade, check it out it's a pretty cool song, dedicated to my brother's favorite blond-haired, blue-eyed, short-term friend. No offense to who that person is with the short term. Here's the lyrics:

With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.

And you're lying real still,
but your heart beat is fast just like mine.
And the movie's long over,
that's three that have passed, one more's fine.

Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue,
but I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,
I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival.

And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.
Your breathe, it is dear. So please stay near.

Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

Say my name. I just want to hear you.
Say my name. So I know it's true.
You're changing me. You're changing me.
You showed me how to live.
So just say. So just say,

That you'll stay awake for me.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I don't wanna miss anything.
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything

I'm Trapped

2008-09-13T12:40:00.000-07:00

I've been captured by Itex and am being held hostage. They've cut my wings off and broken every single bone in my body. I'm in alot of pain and it seems I've gathered some new powers by being subjected to this kind of torture. Uhh Ohhh their coming, I gotta go, seems they want to run a new experiment today, I can only wonder............ well goodbye everyone, be safe, I'll be alright soon.

Pics On The Side

2008-09-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

Check out my pictures on the side, they're from D.gray man an awesome anime check it out....... but anyways please check out the pictures and tell me what you think, i edited all of them on photoshop so they're not the same original ones, but please tell me your opinion, i need constructive criticism. By the way the picture at the top when you enter my blog is also one of my creations, please comment on that one to.

Alter Cosmos

There's something inside of me

2008-09-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

It's not really inside of me but it's half of who i am, most of you know me as Alter the cosmos controlling entity that protects the earth and dies constantly, most of you know that I am a good, nice person who enjoys having friends around me and enjoys fighting along them to fight entity's like Nightex and Itex. But I've never told any of you what stays locked up inside me, it's a dormant, sinister and sadistic version of myself a version that has no feelings, no remorse, no pain, he is a powerful being or i should say i am a powerful being in this state because he is just a part of me just the other half of the nice Alter you always see. But be warned he is not me in any way, he has no ounce of remembering feelings, friends, or family; he just lives to kill and fight, to decimate and destroy until everything in his path is layed to waste. He also is more extreme than i will ever be and he uses excessive amounts of power and can destroy several dimensions at once with a flick of his finger. So be prepared, he also has the annoying tendency to take over my body and go around like he is still the dominant alter, but you can tell him different from me, one his expressionless face, or two if he has mastered the art of emotion is his eyes, they are very peculiar because from my normal silver foggy color, his eyes are white and unmoving often looking through objects rather than at them. So if i change at anytime, try to stop me, if not kill me.........

The world is being reborn

2008-08-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

From what i heard from the final battle, Itex is destroyed, and alot of other things happened which brings me to this final or at least pre-surreal explanation of what's happening. For the flock they might realize that people who were affected by Itex, by being killed or hurt are being revived. Also enemies or people who were once enemies are good now and are trying to help undo the pain of the world. Let them help, they've no reason to hurt anyone anymore because when nemesis killed Zeon, the cosmos destroyed the hatred and fury within these beings, and when Zeon's body was overwhelmed and sent to the afterlife, I also in the process died giving the original life to the world. A soul of creation and happiness was bestowed on the world and i'm happy now, though i may be dead I can still watch over you guys. As a side note Zeon never was evil, he only wanted death to be with his daughter and wife because everyone else hated him or feared him for the same reasons you did. They thought he would hurt their loved ones. But to conclude this explanation, i was as nemesis knows twin son in the birth of the cosmos, i was the resurrection twin, the twin that would bring the universe back to the origin, and my brother was the twin of destruction, the twin that would wipe a clean pallet for me to lay the foundation of life upon again. So now i need anyone who is willing to watch the world, to be observers and protect human and hybrid life, anyone who is going to make sure innocent blood is no more balanced upon evil's bane. Protect these lifes because the world is being reborn...

Alter Cosmos,
Zeon & Zeno Cosmos Fused

The Flock

2008-08-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

Well I'm a member of the Alphaflock, but i don't have time to tell you all the details. But this is link, help us against ITEX before you to become hunted like we all are. Here: www.freewebs.com/moxiesflock

Join our cause before it's to late to stop them

How did you even find this blog?

2008-08-08T21:52:00.001-07:00

Well since your here, i guess i should say something. Hm.......... Hello the name's Zeno, and since your here I guess you can look around though there's nothing to look at hahahahaha.